the inner voice

THE INNER VOICE

"Why don't you die? What on Earth are you doing up till now? For what the hell reason are you here, alive? Why the fuck you were born? In past so many years of life all you have done is bothered your parents to earn more and more to satisfy your needs. What a greedy human are you! So many years of your living but still not a single moment of pride and honour for them. How can you be so self-fish? Shame on you! you hussy! you don't deserve to live. I haven't seen a girl like you who has never made her parents proud in her entire life and on top of it is ditching them for a stupid relationship. Such a shameless creature you are. You know what? you don't deserve to live. You should die. yes, you..you whore I'm talking to you... You shameless bitch, what are you looking for? Go take those pills, swipe that metal hard against your veins, pull that rope tight aginst your windpipe. Each and every glimpse of pain should remind you of your mistakes, your sins. Go for it---" said someone before being cut by a sweet delightful voice.
"what happened my child? what my princess is thinking about?" said her mother.
"yeah--nothing mom just a little headache. I want some rest. Will you please leave?"
"Sure darling. Take care."
"yeah. Bye, mum." said she and the door went off.
A sharp metal piece slides across her wrist followed by a no. of pills that pass through her alimentary canal. Blood drops and darkness is all she can see. It is now when she figures out who that 'someone' was? It was her inner voice which is silent now. The inner voice of a 15 yr. old girl.
 A deep silence prevails in and out of her mind. "my princess" is all she repeats in her quiet mind.

Me...

a little girl's thoughts....

I'm a bad girl
I'm a bad peer
I'm not like others,
I usually don't mix up.
even if I do
there's a strange fear in me,
for I'm like a maze of trees.
for some, i appear as dumb
for others, i appear smart
for some I'm mean
for the rest I'm keen.
but I know what I'm and what I can.
but alas! I cannot force them to see through my specs
I cannot ask them to walk in my shoe.
all I can do is, I can lose myself in their world
I can force myself to be like them,the way they want me to be
Or maybe I have to do this,
or else I'll be the so called;
'nerd' forever.