the inner voice

THE INNER VOICE

"Why don't you die? What on Earth are you doing up till now? For what the hell reason are you here, alive? Why the fuck you were born? In past so many years of life all you have done is bothered your parents to earn more and more to satisfy your needs. What a greedy human are you! So many years of your living but still not a single moment of pride and honour for them. How can you be so self-fish? Shame on you! you hussy! you don't deserve to live. I haven't seen a girl like you who has never made her parents proud in her entire life and on top of it is ditching them for a stupid relationship. Such a shameless creature you are. You know what? you don't deserve to live. You should die. yes, you..you whore I'm talking to you... You shameless bitch, what are you looking for? Go take those pills, swipe that metal hard against your veins, pull that rope tight aginst your windpipe. Each and every glimpse of pain should remind you of your mistakes, your sins. Go for it---" said someone before being cut by a sweet delightful voice.
"what happened my child? what my princess is thinking about?" said her mother.
"yeah--nothing mom just a little headache. I want some rest. Will you please leave?"
"Sure darling. Take care."
"yeah. Bye, mum." said she and the door went off.
A sharp metal piece slides across her wrist followed by a no. of pills that pass through her alimentary canal. Blood drops and darkness is all she can see. It is now when she figures out who that 'someone' was? It was her inner voice which is silent now. The inner voice of a 15 yr. old girl.
 A deep silence prevails in and out of her mind. "my princess" is all she repeats in her quiet mind.

Me...

a little girl's thoughts....

I'm a bad girl
I'm a bad peer
I'm not like others,
I usually don't mix up.
even if I do
there's a strange fear in me,
for I'm like a maze of trees.
for some, i appear as dumb
for others, i appear smart
for some I'm mean
for the rest I'm keen.
but I know what I'm and what I can.
but alas! I cannot force them to see through my specs
I cannot ask them to walk in my shoe.
all I can do is, I can lose myself in their world
I can force myself to be like them,the way they want me to be
Or maybe I have to do this,
or else I'll be the so called;
'nerd' forever.

wierdo's thoughts

The words of wierdo

I can't say it loud

for I can't manage to face the crowd.

my feelings are what make me,

and they are the precious part of me.

yes, it is difficult for me to say

but this doesn't mean it's you who I hate.

yes, I like to be in my own company

but this doesn't mean I hate your company

sometimes I want to be alone,

sometimes I want you beside me.

but all I want is you to understand me

for I am a wierdy.

for I pretend to be an extrovert

but beneath me lies what they say

a weird introvert!

a crazy book lover.

A Crazy

          book

lover

They were her forever companions,

They were the song of her heart.

They were her love,

They were her world.

When she was isolated from the external world,

She was included in their world;

A world of silent words.

They meant a lot to her

As they knew her better

Than anyone else knew her.

They had words for all her absurd feelings,

They had words for her lunatic behavior.

They had reasons for her happiness,

They had reasons for her sadness.

These were the reasons why she loved them

And they were the reasons why people called her 

A CRAZY BOOKISH NERD!

From the heart of a PLUVIOPHILE...

Ever wondered how a pluviophile's world is?

aah! I knew it, you haven't.

here I go, with a dual triplet of mine,

depicting how it feels like

to be pluviophile.

It gives her peace,

It gives her joy.

Its droplets mean pearls to her 

Its smell means scent to her.
When no one is there to listen to her cry
she is there to accompany her.

It is rain and her is she-

a pluviophile.

a thanks to my philosopher's stone

Thanks to my philosopher's stone...

Some people are like the philosopher's stone. just as the stone turns everything into gold and make it immortal they make our life as precious as gold. They step at the door of our life and as soon as it opens they modify it completely. They make it a fairy world, absorbs all the sorrows and emit out love and happiness. in my case, you are that philosopher's stone. you make me think positive and relaxed and so make me happy. Thanks for being in my life.

#dedicated

angels don't cry...

Angels Don't Cry...

There she was. Sitting like a broken doll with her hands in her lap thinking about her worst nightmare which came true a year ago. A dark and deep loneliness rapt her completely. Tears came, both from heaven and eye as it was an angel in sigh. Her little body was covered with a red-checked shirt and black denim. It was nearly sunset when he came there and surprised her with his presence. She got up to her feet and started towards him. He took her in his arms. She could smell his body, she could feel its warmth. He wiped her tears with his hands. Heat rushed through her cheeks to her entire body. His hands rested on her waists and her on his chest. She went on her toes and brought her lips close to his. He brought his chin down and then their lips touched each other. She stepped back to see him, still crying . He whispered in her ear, "angels don't cry."

Eid- the festival of humanity

EID MUBARAK...

With the end of this ramzan season Eid is at our doorsteps bringing love and happiness in our lives. 

Eid is celebrated at the end of the ramzan month by all the muslims world wide. It the most auspicious occasion for muslims as on this day they are forbidden for fasting. 

It is believed that during the month of ramzan the holy QURAN was sent to the Earth by Allah and so this month was named as ramazan. 

Eid is a festival of love and joy which brings happiness in each one's life. It is a festival of charity and kindness. On this day all the Muslims offer prayers to the almighty followed by zakat(charity). They donate 1/4th of their salaries to the poor and the needy for their betterment.

Eid teaches us a lot about humanity. Let's celebrate it together with full joy and happiness, irrespective of our religions. Let's have those sweet sewiya(which i love the most) together. Let's donate together, let's pray together, let's celebrate together. Let's show some secularism together :)

On this prosperous occasion of Eid I pray to Allah for all those underprivileged and needy people who don't have enough money, shelter, clothes, may he grant them strength to overcome difficulties and challenges and help them to be better citizens. I also pray for those families who lost their dear ones in the recent terror attack in Dhaka. May their souls rest in peace. May they get enough strength and courage to live without their family members.

Eid brings happiness to all. Especially to students :p as it's a national holiday. I know how we roam on our terrace every year the eve. before eid to look for moon and when it finally appears we all sing, "dekho chand aaya, chand nazar aaya, aaya aaya aaya." :p :p...eid mubarak sabko :)

Eid mubarak to all of you :) .

signing off

aashi

when he left me..

When he left me...

3/6/2016

Aashi jain 

 

I remember how it all started? 23/12/15- the date when we saw each other for the first time. He was wearing a denim jeans and a black woolen jacket. His hairs as usual- messed! His height was normal but was too small as compared to his companion. It was a short meeting in that Christmas fate followed by some small eye contacts. We didn’t chat that day. Then a few weeks later there was his friend request on my fb account. I cheerfully accepted it and then we became friends. I remember how polite he used to be during that tenure. I remember each and every conversation of ours. How we used to fight, how we used to make fun of each other and how we used to care for each other. There was a girl to whom he was in love with and desperately wanted her to be his partner. That girl was none other than my childhood friend- amyra. I was happy when they both went in a relationship, happy for both of them. He was someone very close to my heart.  He always supported me whenever I was in trouble.  He made a strong support system of mine. That time I used to think that even if the whole world set against me, there will be he who is going to support me. That time he held such precious position in my heart that I could nearly do anything for him. He just had a simple demand from me and that was to fix his meetings with his beloved. I tried my level best to fulfill his demand. But the irony was that we were friends only because I was fulfilling his demand. Then later on when I was so busy in my own life that I was not fulfilling his condition he conveyed this truth to me. When he told me this I felt like as if someone has kept something heavy on my mind and soul. I felt broken. It was like a storm, a storm which ruined me. A storm which I’ve to overcome daily, a storm who’s impact will always be in my neurons. I don’t know who was to be blamed for this but maybe it was our fate who is responsible for it. But alas! He will never understand this, no matter how hard I try because for him I’m the most selfish person in the world. Now in his life on my place there are many, but in my heart no one else can take his position because he was a true friend to me and he was among the ‘most special person’ panel of my life. I remember how nice I used to feel when he used to say, “I love you dear and I’ll never leave you, my dearest sister!” Ahh! Will never forget him. 

fascination of human beings

                                 Fascination of human beings

An article which tells us how fascinating we are? Our mechanism, body everything. Compared with earth here I present my article on our fascination

Aashi jain
5/31/2016

And then I noticed how seductive he is? Every part of him was so appealing, appealing about how fascinating it is? His eyes, dark and quite, glisten with glamour, his muscles-tough, his hairs- deep brown. His tough bare hands reminds me of ‘four’ from ‘the divergent series.’ And then I heard a bird’s chirp and I shook my head as if throwing his thoughts out of my mind but I was unable to do so. And then a thought came to my mind that how fascinating we are? What makes so fascinating, so attractive that within 10mins. I found myself attracted towards a person who is a complete stranger to me?! Was there any gravitational pull acting between us? Don’t know because I’m not SIR ISSAC NEWTON. Was he known to this? No idea, will ask him in heaven.
Sometimes I wonder that how beautifully God has created us?! Each and every part of our body whether it’s a cell, tissue, organ or an organ system, how systematic everything is, how disciplined! Each has got its own function to perform. Isn’t it fascinating?!
Human beings and their mechanism are just like the Earth. Just as the Earth, rotating 24*7 but never change from inside no matter what destructions it is facing? 
How beautiful the Earth looks from the outer space but as we go closer and closer, deeper and deeper than only we reveal its actual beauty and its actual problems. Similarly when we see people around us they seem to be happy or normal but when we go closer to their souls then only we can flyby their problems.  Just as the earth works continuously, our body also functions continuously, our heart, pumping and supplying blood to our entire body. Our neurons working even when we are asleep and even in my case my hands are also most of the times engaged while sleeping (generally hurting people).

‘Just as in outer space there is a moon which shines with reflecting light of the sun and has got no shine of its own and still appears so beautiful creating a fake image there is a moon inside us also which falsely shine with the grace of the inner sun.’ This moon creates a fake image of itself and as well as us. Throw this dummy out and let your inner grace shine!
As the human beings have hidden potentials and talents the Earth too has its own hidden potentials. As the human beings are so mysterious the same goes on with the Earth. ‘The Bermuda triangles, Amazon, The trenches in the deep oceans which appear calm from above, The Himalayas and The Marine Trench’ are sufficient to explain. Devastatingly  fascinating!

But I still don’t understand why I was so attracted towards the boy sitting next to me in the park? Well, probably the answer to this question is his looks, his appearance that made me so fancy about him. But the answer to the question that “Why are we so fascinating?’’ Is probably what I said, that it is because of the proper functioning of our body as so when we are fit we are so energizing, enthralling, beautiful, sexy, smart, bold etc. etc.  Another thing which makes us fascinating is the capability of ours to hide our pain. No matter how much agony we are facing but still we wish to keep it  secret until it becomes too much for us to handle it at this situation we behave just like the Earth, we cannot share our secrets with anyone but then comes a point at which we ourselves cannot bare it and have to tell someone which in turn makes our dear ones experience as if the tectonic plates below them have undergone a massive collision. 
Moreover our hidden talent  and potential is something  which makes us so keen to know about each other which in turn appears fascinating!
So whenever you feel underestimated by someone or like a useless fellow or when someone ditch you or rejects you for a date or relationship don’t get depressed just read this and think how fascinating you are !
(courtesy to lines written in italics font b/w the single inverted commas goes to- vidhyanth sai kaparadhi varchaswi and dhasa sathyan ).
Signing off
aashi

love-a wonderful experience

            LoVE-A beautiful experience 

LOVE - The most wonderful feeling of the world, a feeling when everything appears so beautiful. A feeling which cannot be expressed by words, a feeling in which a person can go beyond his limits. A feeling in which even little eye-contacts with your crush appears endless. A feeling in which even a simple ‘hello’ from your crush takes you to your ‘9^th cloud.’ But loving someone doesn’t mean that you’ll love him/her for your own sake. Loving someone means caring for them, loving them for no reason. As they say it,” if you can define why do you love someone, then you probably don’t love them because love is something which has got no reason to happen.” When you love someone, don’t love them for their looks instead love them for who they are. Well, there is not only that single love which we see in movies but apart from that love is a language of sympathy, care, authenticity, sacrifices and a lot more. If someone loves you love them back in whatever way you can. Love them by showing concern for them or by just asking how they are, or being with them in their rough times. When u are committed to someone don’t try to change them love them  as the way they are. Before changing someone else, try to change yourself because if u are not able to change yourself then how can you expect someone to change for you? Remember that you are not having the copyright on that person. Another thing, when we love someone we try to hide the shortcomings of that person but instead we should be a perfect reflector of their shortcomings not to outshine them but to make them a better person.

While children of my age are getting into relationships, here I m busy writing this article, while talking about love, teenage love is something inevitable. We all have a crush on someone in our ‘teens’ whether it’s a teacher, senior or someone else. Sooner or later, huge or small, we all have it. While in today’s world a little attraction on someone of opp. Sex is termed as ‘true love,’ as a result fake relationships are common. The teenagers are undergoing a lot of stress because of fake relationships, breakups etc. All I can say to them is that there is no need of being depressed for such a small thing. I know it’s a big thing for you but dear, there is a lot to come in. The destiny has planned something huge for us.  We never know what we’ll end up as? It’s just a small thing! Believe in the almighty. Whatever happens, happens for a good cause, suicides and depression is not a solution for it. Every person in our life come for a reason, whether it’s our siblings, cousins, friends, a lover or a complete stranger. Maybe the person you broke up with came there to make u bold! Bold enough to handle such situations more positively in future. Who knows? Learn from your mistakes. Don’t  open your heart to everyone. There is no need to share your feelings with everyone because people will be good in front of you and will laugh on your feelings behind your back. Decide whom to share your feelings with.

There was a post on my instagram acc. Last day and it said:

“Why all 13,14,14,16 and even 17 worrying about love, getting depressed over it, and making it seem like u can’t live without someone else’s love, but you can. You have rest of your life to worry about finding the right one. Stop stressing it so much at young age. It will depress you, ruin your youth, change on your whole mindset. Focus on other things.”

Yes, my dear friends stop worrying about all this. If u proposed someone and u get a no as answer then there is no need of being depressed or cut off your wrist. It’s just a small no. Be positive, be calm, be cool, enjoy your life and stay stress free.

education policy of india

Education policy of India

I asked someone, “What do you think about the education policy of India?” The person replied, “Its rubbish!!” I was shocked by this answer though I expected a negative answer but not this. Further I asked why he thinks so. The answer he gave me compelled me to think over this topic again.

Education plays a vital role in the development of a nation. Education is a major aspect of a person’s life. It improves the quality of a nation’s citizens. But what if the education policy of a nation itself is poor? Obviously, the nation will never move on. In a developing country like India, the education policy should also develop. To do so the following points can be taken into consideration –

1)    All changes should be first implemented in the lower stature- according to this whatever changes the board wants to make should be first implemented on lower classes and if it is successful there then it should be implemented on the rest.

2)    Detention should be done-as per the latest CBSE guidelines no student can be declared fail up to class 10^th. This policy should be changed because under this policy the student is not at all benefited. It’s okay to take re-test if a student is fail in any of the subjects but if he is fail in the re-test also then teachers should have a right to declare that student fail and not to promote him in the next class. So Strict rules should be made which should be child friendly but only to a certain level.

3)    CHANGES IN THE CCE(Continuous And Comprehensive Evaluation) PATTERN- among the 4 formative assessments (FA) only 2 should be there comprising of three tools each. Right now we have 4 FAs of 3 tools (task) each which means 12 tools in a year and in most of these tools we have got our project work. The whole year we are busy making files, projects etc. and do not get sufficient time for our studies. Some believe that its due to these projects that you develop team building, collaborative spirit that you cannot by studying books and yes it’s true, there are many things which we learn from these projects which we can never learn by studying books and so I m not saying that these projects should banned or something I m just saying that the no. of these projects should decrease. So according to me there should be only 2 FAs comprising of three tools each and among these 3 tools one should be a pen-paper test and the other 2 can be project work, group activities etc. This way we can complete our projects also and can find time for our studies also.

Moreover, the students should get more practical knowledge. More workshops should be organized because even after spending so many years in schools still the students come up with a very little practical knowledge of work. Now you people must be thinking that this article is pointless. On one hand I m saying that project burden should decrease and on the other hand I m saying that more workshops should be organized. See these workshops should be organized in our summer vacations when more or less all of us are having time to attend these workshops. Yes, projects too add more practical value but these workshops will be a better option. Like for eg. In China, students are skilled in making various gadgets, robots etc. such skills should be practiced in India also these things will help us to enhance our technology and students from a younger age will know how to work.

But, “Rome was not built in a day so is the education policy of India. Gradually the education policy has improved and will keep improving unless and until the govt. is open to adopt a change.” A newspaper report clearly shows the achievements of the Delhi government in the year 2015-16. This report says that in every government school in Delhi surprise inspections were made by the Edu. Minister, the teachers who were not working properly were suspended, principal’s powers were expanded and many more. Increasing fees of the private schools has also not been neglected.  It’s a great effort made by the Delhi government and should be appreciated. Moreover the students got proper healthcare, sanitation and drinking facilities. Just like the Delhi government every state government should take steps towards the learning eco system of their state because then only our dream of an ‘EDUCATED INDIA’ can be fulfilled.

Reservations in India

  guys kindly review this plzz :)

Today everyone is running behind reservations. Everyone is busy proving their community the backward one.The people who are already reserved wants more reservation.Even self-sufficient people are also demanding reservations. Actually today people have forgotten what reservations actually mean and why reservations were granted. The framers of our constitution believed that in India,certain communities are not socially and economically stable and are not given equal importance in the society.These communities were provided with a certain no. of reserved seats in the parliament and other govt. offices.This ideology was adopted for a good cause but now many reservations are going to those who don't deserve it.Like, if a person is earning Rs.10,00,000 per year which is somewhat to rs.83,000 per month and belongs to scheduled caste will be privileged for jobs,admissions etc.Now will you please tell me from where this person is socially or economically backward? I read a lot of stories on social media in which people were demanding reservations on the basis of one's financial status instead of one's caste or community and I totally agree with them.Reservations should be granted only to those who don't have proper sources to study,to earn money.Moreover, I think that reservations should be granted only for school education.In this,the students who belong to families who are below poverty line or are not so self-sufficient should be granted with free school education.These schools should be properly maintained and should have good faculty.Another thing,reservations should have nothing to do with admissions in  govt. colleges and recruitment for govt. jobs.A student from a middle class family coming from general category and a student from any of a backward class but belongs to a rich family wants admission in a particular govt. college.They both have same marks.But in this case the student belonging to the backward class would be privileged.Now can u tell me which one of them is really backward? So, therefore the reservations should have nothing to do with the admissions in govt. colleges.